If I change my thinking, I will have an amazing and successful future waiting for me. Wherever I go in this place, I meet myself. For instance, I see my frightened face reflected on the faces of new inmates every day. That long gone ‘I don’t know what to do look’ or that ‘I want to get the hell out of here look’.
Then I see those with life sentences without the possibility of parole, ever. Then I stop complaining about my plight. I know the feeling stumbling through appeals, squandering chance after chance, until all is lost. At first you go to bed seeing that little bit of sunshine then everything goes completely and utterly black – much like death.
I continue to stare while these guys fight through crazy cellie after crazy cellie until they, themselves, become that crazy cellie.
I find myself here to assure that all that there is, is light at the end of this desolate tunnel.
I assure them the light of God is always there even if you don’t want it, it never leaves the darkest amongst us.
I find myself lying to these kids saying ‘you are not going to die here, keep fighting!’ only to see them one day die right before my very eyes. Truth!
Derrick L. Griffin, 4-11-2021
