When I arrived in 1995 in prison, I went into a real state of depression.
At some point all prisoners experience depression on some level while in prison. I self medicated, some people use drugs of various degrees. Getting doped up was not an option for me. When I arrived, I did not have access to any drug of choice. So I did not use. Pills have never been my thing.
In that lowly state, religion was the tool I used to start building me into the person I desired to become. It worked for a time until I crashed. Just like so many addicts do. To get an idea of my state of mind for all those lowly years, one only has to look at End Game at the state of Thor. In that state I existed in. Yeah, I know it was all fictional but the state of that character describes so many of us. We are miserable. We kind of walk around numb. Trying to find some rock to hide under. A way out. I see others now getting high on various drugs, for mostly K2, Ice, Weed and so on. That’s not for me.
Breaking point
I reached my breaking point, it was at the 10 year mark. I will never forget it. I was on my knees, praying to God and apologizing about my various things I had done to people. At some point it hit me. Up until that point I have never forgiven myself for the life I lived and the people I have hurt. Not once have I forgave Derrick. Once I had done that, it felt like a breath of fresh air. As a result I wrote I’m sorry letters to a wide array of people. No one wrote back, of course they were probably thinking that I had finally went over the edge. I did not care, I wanted it off my chest. I went back as far as apologizing to one of my cousins who I punched at the nose when we were kids. It didn’t matter.
My relationship with God truly started to blossom. The more I openly pronounced my love for God and did right by people, the more God blessed me. Out of nowhere a nurse who was there the day my sister arrived at the hospital, contacted my aunt and he explained that my sister was not beaten to death because she died of a heart disease. We got the medical records and his words were true. We got the autopsy report and medical records along with witness testimonies and sent that to the illustrious Dr. Plunkett M.D. (see also my blog: Do black lives matter/Lifestory). How I got his information is mind blowing. A guy walked up to me and gave me the information out of the blue. These experts charge thousands of dollars – I didn’t have a dime. Dr. Plunkett is called in when there’s an issue concerning causes of death. A 40 year veteran in his field, numerous accolades – to put it crystal clear – he knew his job well
He cleared me of the fabricated murder charge.
The State continued to withhold valuable evidence. And my first round of Innocence Appeal we lost. God gave us more expert pathologists in the field of causes of death: dr. Peter Stephens who further cleared me of the charge. I needed Appeal lawyers, more investigators … like always God delivered. Real faith, real work, God never fails you. I know, I’m living his miracle every day.
Derrick L. Griffin, 25-01-2021
